Monday, May 12, 2014

Knowing By Heart~The Dynamics of Memorization


     The writer is almost completely blocked by the podium where she stands, shuffling papers, adjusting her glasses.  She's not sure what to read, and finally settles on what she prefaces as "something I jotted down on the train coming over." She keeps her eyes on the page, throughout, punctuated by on occasional plaintive look up at the audience at the end of a paragraph. Another 26 minutes of this, and the audience members have stopped looking at her, are surreptitiously deleting Emails on their droids, or escaping to the loo. The boyfriend who accompanied student Sally is darting her looks~he will NEVER agree to coming to a reading again.  The writer looks over at the host.  He is sitting in the front row, slightly to her right, a strained encouraging smile lock-jawed onto his face. She asks him, "Do I have time for another story?"  Groan.
     I once saw Philip Dacey come to the podium at a Passaic County Community College Poetry Center reading, with nothing in hand. He started speaking, and we soon realized, to our delight, that he had already launched into his first poem. For the next who-knows-how-long, we rode his poetry with him from joy to grief to nostalgia and back. Unfettered by paper, he had his whole program by heart, constantly engaging us with his eyes, his voice, his movements. We were disappointed when he stopped. When I decided to start doing readings, seven years ago, I vowed that, like Dacey, I would recite my poems~as in "recite: to repeat or utter aloud something rehearsed or memorized, esp. before an audience" (American Heritage College Dictionary).
     There was a time when there were so few books and no standardized tests, so students memorized poems, passages from the Bible, plays, songs, multiplication tables. We all had a mental Rolodex of phone numbers and practiced strategies for remembering names. I have often been delighted when people "of a certain age" will, as Mary Ellen did in an open, hold forth with "The Owl and the Pussycat" or reel off a Dickinson poem to reorganize and energize a conversation.  But with ready internet and speed-dialing, we have all lost our minds~that is, our capacity for memorizing, retaining, and accessing.
     We have a recital at the end of the semester, during which all of my students present something from their semester~enacting a Shakespearean scene, reading their original work, doing a multi-media clip of an Achebe story.  When I suggest that they might memorize their portion, they freak. 
     There are steps between the hermit behind the podium and flying the trapeze without a net.  Yesterday, my student poets were rehearsing for this year's recital.  Each person, in turn, positioned him- or herself at the front of the room. We dispensed with any podium, as it becomes a wall instead of a conduit. After a first reading of a poem, we considered how we might emulate what worked, thus building a repertoire of aspects for everyone to shape: hand gestures, eye contact, body movement; pacing, volume, articulation, use of silence.  At this point, we also noticed what didn't work in a poem, inspiring changes to titles, beginnings and endings, redundancies, and dead zones.     
      Crucially, we noticed the relationship between reader and the paper on which the poem was printed.  First, hands: Hold it down at waist level, and the audience is cut-off.  Hold it up as a mask to your face, and it's even worse. We experimented with holding the page off to the side. That literally provided a heart opening to the audience~a sense of expansiveness and connection, so important to reaching an audience. Many students are adopting that as a mode. 
       Next, eyes: so tethered were some poets to the page, that they read ever word, one at a time, as if they were first-graders new to reading, at all. Of course, there was no way to make or maintain eye contact with the audience, and it was painful to watch. I recommended flashing onto phrases and looking up, in between.  I showed them how I, who don't have their poems memorized, can retain whole lines at a time by this method. This was a revelation and eased the way. In some cases, students plan to relineate and change font sizes in their poems for easier visual groupings.
       As a reciter and performer, I am nourished and inspired by the eyes of audience members. Some, however, get a deer-in-headlights daze. One student recommended this relaxation method: think of the people as sitting on a toilet~then you won't be intimidated.  That was a LOL moment! But if looking into eyes is disorienting, simply looking at foreheads will engage the audience and relax the reader.
      Then, I went after memorizing.  Deanna was pinching her paper so hard that it crackled, and she was reading one word at a time.  
       "Give me the paper," I said.  She did.  I added, "OK. Now recite your poem."  
       "I can't," Deanna said, distressed.
       "I know," I said, "Do it anyway."
And she demurred with more insecurities, and I just kept saying, "I know.  Do it anyway."
And then she did.  A whole stanza, until she got rattled that she could and stopped.  But that stanza was so moving, her connection with us so profound, that we know she will come through for us all.
      There it is.  Drop the paper and remember what you remember.  You will notice, too, what works and what doesn't, as you do.  Many of the students are now memorizing their poems for the recital.
      In the seven years since I first got up to recite, grabbed hold of the podium, and walked it off stage, I have memorized over 150 poems and songs, and created four 90-minute performance sequences with them. I have learned the importance of rehearsing while I'm in different modes of motion~walking, driving, biking, swimming; queuing up; keeping myself awake while others drone on (sometimes at readings), and putting myself to sleep at night; and, of course, stage rehearsals. The more mistakes I make in process, the surer I'll be with a audience.  As I rehearse, I learn more about the poems and have had the best ideas for revision. The parts I have trouble retaining are worth revisiting for excision. Listy structures can be as boring on the page as in recitation. Through this process of memorizing for an audience, I learn how to more fully inhabit the poems and songs~how to embody them more deeply.  The "drop-outs" or "mistakes" I might make in performance are just opportunities to boost the work.  And who's to tell?
      Proviso: NEVER have the paper or a prompter (electronic or human) nearby during a recitation or performance, because it invites the old addiction to reading from the page~it's a crutch. "The medium," wrote Marshall McLuhan, "Is the message." Unmediated by the page, the poet merges with the poem. Remind yourself: I am the message.
      And, how much more exciting, for you and for your audience, when you walk to the front without sheaves in hand.  And everyone realizes, you are flying without a net!
       
© 2014 Susanna Rich





22 comments:

  1. during my class last Friday I assumed that I couldn't remember my poem. Dr. Rich took my paper and I though someone stole my safety net. Like I was falling to the ground and had no parashoot. but through it all she taught me that I new my poem, I knew my work I had self doubt. fear was what was stopping me from expressing my poem "MY DOLLY". fear of telling the truth, speaking out and allow the tears and hurt out. fear of crying in front of people when I really don't like to, fear of knowing the hurt in this poem was real and I haven't fully healed from it. finally I it started to flow and as it flowed it became painful but when it was over I realized that I still have some healing to go through and some work. with that I was free to cry in class and feel happy after words because I was able to let it go. if Dr. Rich didn't do this I wouldn't of been able to come to this realization and I thank her for that. Now I can move forward in life, with God and with Me. If it wasn't for Dr. Rich showing me these thing I don't think I would of truly healed and been able to recite this poem from heart this Thursday! THANK YOU DR. RICH!

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  2. You are such a gracious and inspiring presence, Deanna!

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  3. I think it took me about a month to memorize The Owl and the Pussycat way back in 7th grade English class. Of course I’ve retained it these 40+ years just so I could recite it for you!

    Nowadays (I’m starting to sound like my grandmother) there seem to be no rote memorization skills taught to our young people. Not so for some of us when we were that age. Everything these young people need is in their hand (or so they think) and available at the touch of a button or two, so why memorize anything? I know people who don’t even know their own phone numbers without looking it up. Really? Have some people gotten that lazy that they can’t remember anything without the Internet or a cell phone?

    Even though I have a cell phone with numbers programmed in for friends and family, I still dial it myself, to keep my brain active. It is rare that I don’t remember someone’s phone number once I’ve dialed it a couple of times. It’s not that difficult to remember.

    I think our media deprivation and sacred space worked very well to draw attention to verbally interact within our classroom. I had some classes where I know that the students weren’t necessarily even paying attention to the professor while they sat with their phones or computers in class. Checking FB and other websites has nothing to do with what is going on in the class. I don’t understand why some professors allow it. It’s a distraction to me, and I’m sure it is to the professor, too.

    I appreciated our media-free classroom. Making new friends and talking to them is one form of rote memorization—I will remember facts about the person I talked to and their name more readily when I frequently use it in speaking with them or to get their attention.

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  4. Thank you, Mary Ellen, for your validation and insights! I will so miss our Friday morning family of poets. You were SO our Mom and Sister~

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  5. I recently recited The Owl and the Pussycat for a couple of children and thought of you. I sent you an email to your Kean address just yesterday with a poem I wrote for the CLMOOC. Hope your summer is going well. Take care. ~ME

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  6. Lola Haskins closed her eyes and recited several poems from memory. No paper. I was very impressed. I've memorized only a few poems (3?) in recent years and they didn't stay memorized, but the process was more than interesting. And informative.
    Thank you!

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  7. Dr. Rich,
    I 100% agree with what you’re preaching! A lot of students today don’t have to memorize any kind of literature for school. If I try to tell a student to memorize something I’d probably get a response like, “Why would I memorize it when I can just look it up online when I need it?” I mean I don’t know about you but there comes a time when memorization becomes a great thing, like knowing my phone number when I forget my ShopRite card to still get the discounts. After this post I’ve realized the beauty that could come from memorizing my own poems. The way I can have my body and pauses while speaking say the words more than having an index card in front of me ever could. I also never thought of reading my poem aloud to see how it sounds off the paper. Lately I’ve been writing and practicing them in my head, which is probably why you can’t feel everything I write, because it’s not in tune with the people around me senses or feelings. I feel that taking my poetry off the paper and out loud could be a new insight on how to create better poetry. I am nervous to recite my poems at the end of the semester, but at the same time I am ready and excited for the challenge.
    -Alessandra Finis

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  8. Dr. Rich,

    I agree that memorization is a tool that all writers should use. I, myself, get hesitant when I have to memorize something. But as you said, it is so much more beautiful to listen to a poet recite without looking back and forth at the page. I listen to quite a few spoken words a day and find myself fascinated by the individual in front of the camera reciting from the heart and mind.

    I find your last paragraph of the blog inspiriting to me, "Remind yourself: I am the message. And, how much more exciting, for you and for your audience, when you walk to the front without sheaves in hand. And everyone realizes, you are flying without a net!" It really does feel as an accomplishment when I can walk onto a stage mighty and proud of my work and the fact that I took the time to read it so many times, I memorized it. -- I also must mention that I had to reedit that last part there. I had been writing using the word, YOU. OH NO!

    Thank you for this insight. It brought me back to thinking about the 5 canons of rhetoric, and how memory is starting to become obsolete. I must mention this blog post to my professor who I was working on my rhetorical analysis with.

    - Paige Bollman

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  9. Dr Rich,

    Memorization is a uselful too; when it comes to writing, phone numbers, and even song lyrics. There is nothing more impactful than standing on your own two feet using memorization to speak something YOU wrote. It's not as impactful when you're behind a sheet of paper. I remember my first audition I had for my high school. I had to remember an entire news dialogue in order to be accepted into the media and film major. I studied that for weeks prior to the audition. I passed and I got into my dream school, but it is stil to this day I remember that dialogue just like I remember song lyrics, phone numbers, and other things I have written myself. Memory is important and it shoudl always be used. You need to force yourself to memorize things every now and then.

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  10. Dr. Rich,
    I feel that memorization plays such a big role in our every day lives. We memorize our daily routines, addresses, places to go, song lyrics, names, brand names, etc. I remember in elementary school with all of our chorus recitals, I had to memorize a bunch of songs and their lyrics. For a youngster, it was quite overwhelming for someone at such a young age to remember these songs. I was always put upfront in recitals, and was always afraid I was going to forget the lyrics and embarrass myself. But it turns out the more I practiced and when the big day came,the minute I heard the tune to the song, all the lyrics just came to me. The same thing goes for all my dance recitals coming up. When I saw how many people were in the crowd, I choked. I was terrified of messing up. In the end, everyone has those moments- just like your one student who took a while to recite her poem.I feel that the more we practice, the more we will remember material more.
    -Valentina Quesada

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  11. Dr. Rich,

    This post on memorization really hit close to home in a different way. I have always struggled with my memory and it bothers me. I think that I also have used devices like my phone as a crutch and have allowed my memory to worsen. In the coming year, I do want to get better at memorization and improve this wonderful skill that can help me in the future. This post also reminded me of when I attended the poetry festival for our class. It was so different to see your work on stage versus the other poets who read off their paper. I was drawn in by your presence on stage and how you commanded your poetry with the audience in mind. When I perform my poetry on stage, I want to be captivating and intriguing to the audience. I don’t want them to get bored of me. If I read off a paper, I will not get the engagement that I look for. It also made me think about how sometimes I struggle with some of my poetry because I feel like it doesn’t flow very well. I think that by reading out loud, I can find ways to make it sound poetic to the ears and change the words or sentences that aren’t working for the poem.

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  12. The iPhone has changed our world upside down. Where we once needed address books, alarm clocks, and to know how to actually spell words, we now have automatic spell check and everyone’s phone numbers all in one hand. We don’t even need to type into it, we could simply say “Hey Siri set my alarm for 10 AM or call dad”, and Siri will do it without you even having to touch your phone. Because of this and the slow laziness of our culture I do not memorize anything anymore…. Or do I?
    YES I DO! Songs, poems that I love, names of the people that matter to me.
    SO maybe memorization comes from putting effort and meaning into something. Well I saw this in this past week’s final class. In which professor Rich spooked a student by taking the physical copy of her poem and having her recite it by heart. BOY WAS IT STRONG! I have noticed the same with music. Music can be recited from a lyrics printout but how much more beautiful does it feel to memorize the words of a song by heart and sing it with all of your might. It is priceless. I know because I do it in my car while I like to think I am this great singer. It comes from the heart.

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  13. Even thought smartphones and accessible internet have their privileges, I believe that you got the point across Dr. Rich. I also remember those no smartphones days, though I was ever so lucky to experience the last decade of this great media-free period. I'm also from a small island with limited resources, so having of your tasks done manually had it's challenges, but as you mentioned, the interactions were more engaging and meaningful.
    I, myself am most of the time consumed by this zombie world. However, I feel bad for children, nowadays, who are born to this technology driven world, and who are not able to appreciate the smell of a good old library book. When I think about how engaging our used to be, you start putting things into perspective and appreciate the past ( reason why I love history so much). I love this post, and I am ever more grateful for your media-free Shakespeare survey course.

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  14. Technology and social media are definitely an obstacle we all face in the year 2017 about to be 2018, and it’s only going to get worse. What really opened my eyes to this was your classroom policy about no technology. Since not being able to use technology in your class, I have used this in other classes as well as at home when I’m trying to write. I’ve realized that I can’t write as well when I have my phone right next to me or the tv on in front of me. Mainly because this causes me to stop what I’m writing to look at the television screen, or to stop and look at a text or an email. This causes me to lose my idea and thought about what I was writing. Like it makes me think if I would have done it sooner, who knows what kind of writing I could have been capable of if I just simply turned off my phone or the television during those times? Makes me pretty mad actually. But I’m going to leave the past in the past and worry about the future. From now on when I’m writing I can’t have any technology around to distract me from writing my next book, because it could be a best seller. I don’t ever want to deprive myself of that. With reading this blog post I’ve also been trying to memorize simple things, such as a grocery list or even my boyfriends phone number. The only ones I’ve memorized since I was a child were my parents and home telephone number. This was a challenge for me, but I’m getting back to it. This all falls back to commitment, not just with writing but with anything we do.

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  15. Well I wish I had the ability to retain as much information as you do (remembering that many poems?). I’ll be the first one to admit that technology has ruined me to a good extent. I often wonder what kind of a different person I would be if I never got swept up in the cultural habit of immersing myself in technology. It’s one of the many, but one of the prominent, things that makes me disgust the uncertainty of change in the world and what might come net to potentially corrupt us. I agree with your statement regarding the podium being synonymous with a wall and a means of stifling someone because the paper that is on that podium, if there is one, tempts people to look away for a sense of security and can make the speaker uneasy as well. When it comes to public speaking, depending on the content, how much I own the content and how deep it strikes me, I can retain the material quite well, whereas in the opposite situation I might feel the need to rely on outside source to get my mouth moving. In the end, sure, if you’re a good enough speaker you can improvise, but don’t think you sound better than you would actually knowing the content. One’s crowd isn’t as easy to please as one might hope and to think and operate in such a way can be an insult.

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  16. As I’ve expressed previously, I love poetry. This being said I understand the importance of memorization when it comes to performing your poetry in front of an audience. The first time I performed a spoken word piece, I knew it was vital to my work to have it memorized in order to invoke the emotion I felt while writing it in the hearts of the audience. I used a similar method to when I study for exams, I wrote it out by hand multiple times until I memorized it. I believe writing things by hand is the most effective way to memorize anything, you can feel the power of each word seep from your veins through the pen and into the page and that is a feeling that I could never forget. It’s like you give life to the words as you write them down. Then I sit back and read it over and repeat the process.

    Back in the old days rhetors had to memorize their speeches bc some couldn’t afford pen and papyrus. I feel as though we struggle with memorization more than ever now in the age of technology because your phones are literally our brains and third limbs. I only remember a hand full of phone number by heart and that is only because I didn’t have a cell phone until 8th grade and the numbers haven’t changed. I’m guilty of utilizing memory stifling tools and apps like the notepad app and reminders/ alarms.

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  17. Dr. Rich,
    The first time you told us in Shakespeare Survey that we had to memorize lines from a play I thought you were out of your mind. I've tried memorizing things before but I've never been successful with it because I always found myself looking down at the paper. I practiced for days to recite my lines but when the day came, I was beyond nervous and knew I would forget. When we began to recite them you told us we couldn't have our books open, we were all doubting ourselves. I was surprised to see how well we all recited the lines when it was our turn to go. By not having our books we were forced to go back in our memories to recite something we all worked so hard to remember. This gave me a new form of confidence because I accomplished something I never thought I could do before.
    I've never thought about how boring it is to watch someone read right from the page. Reciting from memory gives the piece a sense of life and it allows for the audience to be engaged. I hate being in a class where we are forced to sit there and read a page of something we've written. Like you pointed out, everyone ends up on their phones, not paying attention. I never realized how disengaging reading off of a piece of paper can be.

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  18. Dr. Rich,

    I am so glad I found this post now. As it is getting closer to the end of the semester, we are beginning to talk about the recital that is going to take place in a couple of weeks. While I am excited about it, I know some of my classmates are definitely not looking forward to it. Some classmates have expressed that they have stage fright and that they would not like to read their work aloud to a big crowd. Many others have been frightened by the idea of having to memorize their work. Memorizing writing and performing it aloud to an audience can be a very rewarding task. Having the writing memorized makes the delivery that much more powerful than if it were to be read from a script; the mere fact of committing the writing to memory creates a different kind of energy when it is being performed. When memorized, the writing seems as if it is coming directly from the heart of the writer, and the audience members can tell the difference in energy when the writing is memorized and when the writing is read from the script.

    I have taken courses in theater that have helped me to not only get rid of stage fright but to practice memorizing written work and performing it to a live audience. Therefore, I have an appreciation for the art of memorizing writing and reading it aloud, but I also understand how daunting this could be for some writers. It seems that many writers do not understand just how much of their writing they have already memorized and committed to memory without even realizing. I find that because writing comes from the heart, it becomes much easier to commit to memory. With that being said, I look forward to the recital that will take place in two weeks, and I will attempt to memorize the first page of my manuscript.

    Nada Amer

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  19. Dear Dr. Rich,
    When it comes to me and memorizing things, I am pretty bad at it. I see myself as a visual learner, I memorize thins best when I see it physically in front of me. Hearing something is always much harder to learn. When it comes to memorizing words or phrases I just blank out. It has always been difficult for me to remember things since I was a child, sure I could learn concepts for tests or quizzes, but memorizing lines or people’s names has always been a challenge for me. When we had to memorize Shakespeare sonnets I freaked out. I wasn’t sure how I could remember even just one line, especially with how complex some of them were. I sat down and read it over and over, trying to memorize as much as I could. When the morning came I felt anxious and afraid, writing it over and over into my notebook in hope that it would sink it. And yet when I had to read it I felt nervous, forgetting some lines, tempted to read what was in front of me. But when you told me to put away the paper and read without it distracting me, I found myself able to do it. It was a fun experience, and I’m happy I was able to memorize it.
    Stephen Corrales

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  20. My mom has told me, I remember things I want to remember, and she's absolutely right! When I was younger I used to memorize everything around me so I could recite it when I needed to. My mom would sit me down and ask people's phone numbers so I could recite it, or if she was talking with a friend and forgot what she was talking about, she would ask me what the last thing she said so I can pick their conversation back up. My memory now is still good because I always have to use it at work. But, if I don't prioritize it, it won't stick in my head at all.


    This problem happened in my writing about literature class. The class had to recite a poem of our choice. I chose a poem that I didn't really care about and found it impossible to memorize it. It would be there for one second, but that's about it. I knew if it didn't stick I would fail. So instead of trying to force it onto my brain, I knew how my brain worked. So I opened up my poetry book and started going through all the poems, reading all the first lines until one stuck. I must have went through 50 poems until I stopped at 'Because I Couldn't Stop for Death' by Emily Dickinson. That poem stuck instantly and I rehearsed it for about 10 minutes until I had to poem down packed. To this day I can still recite it

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  21. Memorization is helpful because it allows you to be flexible. Coming into rehearsals with majority of a piece memorized gives you an advantage to really play around with circumstance and decisions. It is harder for me to memorize anything else but songs,so when we had to remember the sonnets I freaked out and blanked. Sometimes we have to retain so much information at one time for different courses, it is hard not to mix up the information or just completely forget. But as the semester ends, I am excited to see what everyone is going to prepare for the recital Thursday, and who will be grouping up with who. I already have an idea of what I want to do for the recital, now that all my huge assignments are done, I hope to be able to memorize my piece.

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