Writing creatively is a process of spiraling deeper and deeper into what’s essential and universal. It is helpful to envision this process as riding a Moebius Strip. A Moebius Strip, as pictured above, is, according to Wiki, “a surface with only one side and only one boundary.” Simply, take a strip of paper, give it a half twist, and connect the ends. (A counter-clock half-twist will give you another effect.) If a crab starts crawling along its surface, it will find no stopping pointing, as it would on a flat airstrip. It will ride infinitely along the same surface. Wiki adds, “A line drawn starting from the seam down the middle meets back at the seam, but at the other side. If continued, the line meets the starting point, and is double the length of the original strip.”
When I consider what it
means for me to write, let’s say, a poem, I find that I enter Alice’s
Wonderland through the rabbit hole of a Moebius strip. The levels through which I pass are described
in the following “Model for Spiraling In.”
Imagine these words on a strip of paper with a clockwise half-twist
meeting the ends in a Moebius Strip:
_________________________________________________________________________________
A Model of Spiraling In
by Susanna Rich
(Connect the ends to Create a Moebius Strip)
EXTERNAL-SAFETY
Social
Not
Writing
Concerns about external
reception: grades, publication, revealing secrets that might offend others,
money; Procrastination, Giving Up, Fascination with Writer’s Block, Self-pity,
Speed up, Excuses
Blaming
the Reader
Taking all or none of
others’ responses, instructing the reader how to interpret the poem as a part
of the poem, struggle w/ readers’ judgment.
Mental
Verbal
Resistances
Clichés, Vagueness,
Hallmark Card Generalities, Philosophizing, Intellectualizing, Forced rhyme,
Conceits (writing for the sake of the metaphor), Loading adjectives,
Summarizing, Wordiness, Polemics, Didactics, Archaic Language, Cleverness for
its own sake, Overcrafting, “Forced” uniqueness, Sentimentality, Boredom
_____
THE PORTAL
INTERNAL-WORK,
RISK
Physical
Moving
In
Chanting, Play,
Repetition, Ritual, Slowing Down, Senses, Centering and Focusing, Immediacy,
Dreams, Memories, Meditations, Experiments, Risks, Listening to the Music of
Language, Seeing the Poem on the Page, The Immediacy of the
local-particular-specific, Myth, Magic, Kaleidoscopic vison, Faith in the
writing process, Synchronicities, Magic, Wonder, Patience, Commitment
Writing
Imagination, Imagery,
Sound, Rhythm, Dialog, Action, Patterns, Genres, Voice
Spiritual
Insight
Paradoxes, ambiguities,
Awareness of synchronicities, Imagination, Leaps, Being the Aeolian Harp,
Humor, Spontaneity, Archetypes
_____
UNIVERSAL
Spiritual
Silence
The Universal, Awe
____________________________________________________________________
As we can see, I start on the EXTERNAL level, with
concerns about others’ anticipated responses.
At this stage, I am silent, procrastinating, facing a blank screen or
page (or avoiding it altogether). I rely on stale ideas, conventional imagery,
and clichés. Since all these concerns
are social and external, I have no authentic investment in the work. If I can produce anything, I will soon
abandon it as unimportant.
We will consider THE PORTAL in greater depth, in another
post. For now, we see, in the physical practices,
the many ways the writers and other in-depth artists leave behind the world of
dull repetition and been-there writing to and their vast internal resources. The
INTERNAL, Risk-Taking level is a process of returning to the place of humanity—our
bodies and the physical world; imagination and wonder.
What happens in THE UNIVERSAL level is that, having created
a new way of engaging with our inner and outer world, we are left with the
experience of merging with all that there is.
The silence we experience at this level may seem like the crab returning
to the same place—but it is a place never touched before.
The Fiddler Crab endlessly looping around our introductory Moebius Strip is an apt metaphor for the creative process—for, truly, creativity, by nature, is “fiddling around.” And as all crabs do, the Fiddler moves sideways—creativity often happens not by moving ahead in a conventional linear pattern, but by moving sideways, in unexpected directions. What makes a beginning writer different from a seasoned writer? The seasoned writer will move more quickly through the process, and trust it. And, if by talent, perseverance, or luck, the writer might even enter the next dimension, one that, using the Moebius Strip as metaphor, would be one in which the sides are turned upward to create the Klein Bottle.
The Klein Bottle, much
like the Caterpillar’s hookah, in Alice
in Wonderland, is a source of inspiration, and another level of creative
dragons to challenge us—a topic for another post.
Which level do you frequent in the creative process? How do you find and enter The Portal?
Cover Art: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fiddler_crab_mobius_strip.gif
End Art: http://imergint.org/klein-bottle-acoustics/
Nadia Radwan
ReplyDeleteI would say that my creative crab is usually stuck on what my professor will think. Although I am writing I am always consumed by the fear that my work isn't good enough. I feel like when I don't try on a piece of writing, meaning I already know I might do poorly, or rather I expect it when I get a bad grade or a just a B I don't really care. I was already anticipating it. But when I try really hard on an essay and I think it was really good and I get a bad grade, not to be dramatic, but I feel heartbroken. I really do feel so dejected and upset because I felt like my best wasn't good enough. I also think this plays into blaming the reader. Because rather than just taking the grade for what it is I feel like the professor was disappointed in me. I don't know why I take it so personally I just do. I think it might be because i am overly attached to my writing. I really feel a very strong connection to the things I write. This is another reason why I am so bad at editing, I just don't like getting rid of anything because I like everything has a value to it. When of course none of that is true. The opposite is also true. If I do really well on the first paper then I get really bad anxiety about doing just as well on the next and it no longer becomes my own voice, rather the voice I think the professor liked.
Nadia, You're very aware and well on your way to developing your own voice and valuing yourself, regardless of what others say.
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Dr. Rich,
ReplyDeleteI really connect with this statement, “The Fiddler Crab endlessly looping around our introductory Moebius Strip is an apt metaphor for the creative process—for, truly, creativity, by nature, is “fiddling around.” When it comes to writing for me, the process starts out slow. My thoughts are always jumbled because I am trying to find the right topic to discuss so I don’t ramble in my paper. I always admire people who come up with a topic off the top of their head and they just start writing right away. For me, it is a bit more challenging. Even when I do think of a great idea, I have difficulty put my thoughts together, so my writing will be more cohesive. I try to focus my thoughts and when I do that, the words start to come, and the writing just seems to flow. I agree with Nadia where when I write something, I become attached to it. I become attached to it because it is so personal, and it came from my mind. It’s true that writing does not just happen in a linear pattern, it takes you into different directions. You get inspiration from many different sources. Writing is also so therapeutic. As I have stated in a previous post, writing has helped me put my thoughts down when I am feeling different emotions during that day. I write down all my thoughts and emotions even though those emotions can be all over the place as well. I don’t consider myself a seasoned writer, but I enjoy writing and learning new approaches to writing processes and writing in general.
Dr. Rich
ReplyDeleteI spend most of my time in the external-safety, Social because I am a procrastinator and I always worry I will do something wrong. Now I know you can not do anything for my procrastination, but you have helped me with the worrying I am not writing my paper correctly because you have given me more power over my own work. You have helped me gain more control over my own writing by letting me pick my own topics. I have another class this semester which I will not name that gave use no choice on what we had to write our two papers on, so you were stuck writing a four-page paper on a topic you did not like or agree with. The midterm and final were multiple short essays on direct prompts from multiple works. I just focused on correctly answering the question instead of using my creativity to look at the work from a new topic. I do not spend to much time in the Internal-Work, Risk, physical stage of the writing process because once I start an essay or another assignment I usually can not rest until it is completed. I do have a great imagination and try to paint a picture for my reads using imagery. I have spent the most time in the Universal, spiritual writing stage for the papers I have writing for your class because our class discussions are so in deep that they have me seeing how the works we have read relate to the world around me.
By: Kathleen Conaty
Dear Dr. Rich,
ReplyDeleteThat spiraling crab was driving me insane. Maybe it made me feel that way because I reflected something deep in my life. I have been feeling like that little crab for so long, going in circles, thinking I have accomplished something only to see it taken apart. But of course we are talking about literature and writing and all that good stuff. So here is my take on your model of spiraling in. It is true, it is so true, when I write a little voice comes along and tells me “what would they think if you write it what way?” Then there is the part where the blame sticks its head out. I have been in writing workshops before and when someone says anything about my work I tend to feel a little hurt. Lately, things have changed, I know longer go in circles when deciding on what or how to write. Sure I still have my insecurities and feel like I am getting back on that wheel, but now I stop myself and think about our class and things change. It is safe to say I am on my road (a flat one with no spirals) to perfecting my writing and actually taking it back into my personal control… just like my life.
This seems to be a vicious cycle hard to get away from. Many times one can feel inspired and it might result in a Spiraling In: A Moebius Model for creativity. For example, many of us struggle to start writing a paper and we can be stuck in just the introduction and it can take hours and hours to just start. Sometimes this can result in that the whole paper develops itself like that with lack of creativity or inspiration, but other times it can end up in something better. I do feel that sometimes one can break that spiraling cycle of lack of creativity.
ReplyDeleteThis cycle many time manifest itself into the for procrastination and for some it might just be pure laziness for others is not but the lack of creativity, feeling inspired, or a sentiment of failure that might be the reason people procrastinate. Not feeling like one's work is good enough might give the fear of being rejected by the readers that will lead us to procrastinate to avoid having to face the fear of what we think might be a bad result.
Willy Mena
I worry a lot about my grade when I am writing. So I try to stay within the boundaries that I think my teacher would like. So this might hinder me from being more creative in my writing. Everything in school really revolves around a grade now. It is more important to pass a class than to actually learn and retain anything from it. At the end of the day, your parents, other schools such as high school, college, graduate school, are all concerned with your grades. No one asks you, “What did you learn?”. I know that sticking to the mainstream and clichés is boring and monotonous, but if our future success depends on it, then what other choice do we have? In the future, when I have my own classroom, I will encourage my students to be creative and express their own voice.
ReplyDelete- Madeline Romero
Seanette Martin
ReplyDeleteApril 6, 2019
Eng 4817
Prof Rich
Spiraling In: A Moebius Model for Creativity
As I began to read the first few lines I couldn’t even remain focused because my focus was on the moving Moebius Strip how intriguing was it to watch and just get wrapped up the movements which began to make me a bit dizzy. Well sometimes my creative crab is so focused on pleasing my professor that I lose my creativeness. The thoughts that linger is will they like it, am I going to get a good grade, or most importantly will I remain on the Dean’s list. I seem to be stuck in the “External Safety” phase because grades is so important to me and many times when writing the focus is getting it done to get a good grade. Sometimes it’s no longer about creativity but doing what the professor wants so that the professor will like my writing.
There are time where I struggle with the readers judgment because I feel that the reader just doesn’t take the time to understand. Sometimes I even feel that the reader is being closed minded when reading my work. For example I read my first screenplay which I honestly thought I would hate or better yet be bored by the paper placed in front of me. Once I read the first few lines I was completely wrong and sucked into that screen play immediately. After reading that screenplay I really wish that sometimes when people read my work they would be more open minded. I’m working on getting back into my creativity element because she’s in there but she’s just afraid as of lately.
My creative process I have always wanted to be THE PORTAl or INTERNAL kind of writer. I wanted my words to flow off the keyboard or onto the paper with pen. I wanted to have imagery and action, I wanted my voice to be heard. But I never truly wrote like that. I write like a robot to get what I need to get done. I am worried about the grades and requirements and not actually what I am writing about. I want to hold the paper off to the last minute because I am dreading writing it. I never feel like I actually am excited to write a paper in college because I can’t be myself, but just a drone that teachers want. I write with cliches and wordiness to keep my word count up. I am constantly bored writing my papers and summarizing because thats what they want. By taking Dr. Rich’s class I am slowly learning to break out of that shell and be able to write for me and not for a professor or their requirements. I want to find the portal. I want to change my bad ways of writing and be more creativity. I want to use what I am being taught in Dr. Rich’s class to helicopter on one idea and expand my mind and thinking of that one topic. I want to write in greater depths and be able to take the risk of writing.
ReplyDeleteDr. Rich,
ReplyDeleteI have mixed feelings about this post! Most of the points mentioned on here I do agree with. There are terms on here that I have never heard of, and that was wonderful to learn new things, so thank you. I love to learn new...anything. It keeps the brain sharp and the mind fresh. I tend to procrastinate which I am aware is not great. Okay, procrastination is a horrible habit, but I am certainly guilty of it. Not only do I procrastinate with school work, but I also procrastinate with other real life tasks such as paying bills and or responding to emails from my boss slower than I should. Sometimes I get into trouble or even thrown off my guard when I eventually need to complete these tasks, but that is my own fault. It is all psychological when you break it down. Even though it is psychological, it still does not help break the rooting issue of the cycle, which is caused my anxiety. At least that is what I believe. I also believe that anxiety is the reason why it takes me so long to complete a paper sometimes it because I am not sure if my idea for the topic is acceptable or appreciated. That thought alone, applied to life in general can eat someone alive if they do not get reassured that it is alright to make mistakes. Thus, I tend to fall into the external category. I will always get the work done, but sometimes it takes me longer than others - and that is okay!
my creative energy has a lot to do with the professor to be honest. If the professor has a format for what they want and what is expected than I don't try to be creative. There is no room for it and the teacher won't care for it. If the teacher is a bit looser with the topic and how we write than I explore a little bit but not much. I don't want the creativity to surpass my intent of the paper which is to show the professor that I know the subject that I am writing about. Most professors do not care for creativity because their class is not a creative writing course and they don't care for new interpretations that are strictly ours. Our interpretation isn't researched or evidence based so our grade suffers. If our grade suffers for us trying to think outside of the box or do something differently than how are we supposed to feel about it? It's a tough pill to swallow when you try hard and you receive an F. You cannot really argue your way up to a B and most professors will not let you write another paper. Especially since it was out fault that we decided to go another route in our writing strategies.
ReplyDeleteFor today, our last class of Emily Dickinson, our project was a plate. I created a little extra side because you like for your students to do things that are out of the norm when it comes to education and formats.
When I submit work for Dr. Rich's class, I aim to incorporate what we have been learning: for example, I need to weave into my poems: imagery, and metaphor, and simile, and indirection. Still, I write from my own perspective, and express my own self. I could make the analogy that the student-professor relationship is like a writer's relationship to the editor of a book he or she wants to have published. One takes guidance from the professor, as they would from an editor, but the energy behind the work needs to remain one's own. Dr. Rich has influenced the way I write, by providing ideas for me to consider as I compose poetry. A professor's influence and style is a guiding voice that is added to all the other influences and voices one has taken in throughout one's life. All these guiders make a writer more enlightened, more powerful.
ReplyDeleteI always feel I take myself on a journey when I write a piece. I realize, as I compose. At first, the writing is for me, as an expression. Then I need to take a second look at it, and get feedback, as to how I can better express my idea, how to connect more powerfully to other people who are reading my work.
Throughout this semester, my views of creative writing has been shifting. I have taken many classes that encourage “creativity” but still enforce guidelines in the writing. This always impacts my creativity because I feel like my grade may depend on what I say. In Dr. Rich’s class we are strongly urged to be creative in a way that I have not experienced before. We are not given any topics or guidelines to follow, we truly just let out whatever story we want to tell. This was difficult for me at first because I was never given this type of freedom in writing. I had no idea where to start, what information to include, or what story to tell. But as the class goes on we have learned new ways of creating our poems. I now start by envisioning a moment and picking out every detail that can put into words. It is a long process sometimes but it helps create the best works.
ReplyDeleteI dabble in the verbal resistances (let’s face it, I’m the f**king mayor) in the model for spiraling into the portal. I love my cliches and cute Hallmark card writings with forced rhyme and forced uniqueness. Even now, as a seasoned student in the Writing Poetry class, I still find myself (at times) playing with the cliches and being the president of Verbal Resistances Town. But, I have learned that there’s much more waiting for me outside of the cute cliches and perfectly tied bows. Hearing some of the poetry from class (Christmas time molestation - “joy to the world,” students breaching topics like alcoholism, arthritis/muscular dystrophy) creates a stark contrast to the cliched “feel good” poems that I want to write.
ReplyDeleteEven as I type that, I feel wrong. I know that I want to write childish, non experienced, easy poems because that way, I don’t have to dig deep into myself and find all the broken, hurt, and messed up pieces of me and bare them all on a piece of paper for all to see. I could write about being an immigrant, bullying, sexual harassment (multiple instances), depression, loneliness, anorexia, abandonment….I can go on and on, but I choose to write about happy little things like snowmen and bananas. Maybe I’m not ready to delve deep into my past and write a poem about them. But that begs the question, when will I be ready?
Moving on, I am definitely a tease with the other two modes -- not writing and blaming the reader. I am self aware and I think it is the first step to going into the portal of creativity. Of the not writing category, I can mostly identify with grades, self pity and excuses, if I am being honest with myself. I hate having to read my work in front of people because I don’t like to reveal my memories to anyone unless I do it willingly. To do so in art format is even scarier because now others might think of you in this certain way. I know that I am embarrassed by all of my writings, pieces, and poetry. When I was crushing on this guy (*ahem* Chinadoll *ahem*), I had put one of my poems (Internal Afflictions) in the annual poetry showcase and it actually got picked to be in the book. He read it and was rather excited and encouraging but I felt like it was patronizing. I felt way more vulnerable than I wanted to be and when I told him to stop talking about it, he would keep going and bring it up here and there in our future conversations (ugh, so annoying).
Blaming the reader is something that I wish I didn’t do. I often do this in class and I can fully say that I am super ashamed of this aspect of myself. I definitely do not mean to do it, but I feel the need to defend my work for some reason. It’s an incredibly annoying trait and I am working on fixing it.
I try to be more creative than usual in this course. I know i must use imagery dialogue and exposition but not too much.
ReplyDeleteOut of every word written in this blog, the story of Alice in Wonderland stuck out. It's like questioning the normalcy of writing. What is considered acceptable and normal? Why do I take some time to write? Is there something or someone actually preventing me from starting? If I am to be the crab, who walks side ways then I need to recognize my various paths. I have the basics: north, south, east and west. I can mix it up with Northeast, northwest or hell even north northeast. Does that make sense? Strangely, it does to me. In reality, "Yes," when given an assignment I tend to focus my words and purpose towards what is asked of me. If presented the opportunity to be flow freely, then I become a writer that I barely recognize. My words are pure and not concerned with my audience or I am my audience. Everyone take it from it as you please. The sense of poetic fear drives my imagination and slows me down. The task at hand it to act on it without restraint.
ReplyDeleteMeagan AWP 5000
I'd like to piggyback off what Meagan said. I really enjoyed the visual of Alice in Wonderland's rabbit hole and how it ties in with creativity. I've always fed the creative monster within me. My parents have home videos of me playing independently in my room as a child, but they would always comment on my imagination and creative it was for a 5-year-old. Apparently, I was always a story-teller; I would make up ridiculous stories of our neighbors and share them with my parents as if they were actually real.
ReplyDeleteThroughout the years, I haven't been feeding the monster inside me daily because I was always mocked for my imagination and creativity that I became self conscious about it. However, after joining the Writing Studies program, I've been able to feed that monster more and the confidence I have now is remarkable.
Emily Morris
AWP 5000
I have never looked at writing in this manner before; in such a spiritual and engaged state. As for myself, the closet level I can say that I am frequently on in the creative process is the external level. I know, I know… don’t most writers stay on that level for a bit of time? I think this goes back to my insecurities and ‘sorries’ that makes me question my own capabilities. I find myself in the midst of these great and creative ideas ready to write, then BOOM! It is no longer within my possession. Once I’m in the midst of my writing, I find The Portal with the ‘welcome’ sign. The entering part is a whole different story. My nerves, worries, criticums, denial, and all other negative aspects a rise as try to make my entrance into The Portal. I envy those who could leave the external level.
ReplyDeleteThe most interesting aspect towards myself is that I know I can be creative… I am a visual artist. I can imagine my words into images on paper or in my head, but not with a pen/pencil to paper. Doesn't that seem kind of weird? Am I being too hard on myself? I believe that in a sense, these are the questions that are holding me bacj from speaking and writing my truth.
My apologies! The above commented belongs to:
ReplyDeletePatricia Dennis AWP 5000
This has so graciously brought structure and terminology to a process I have been experiencing/fighting wordlessly. When I was being developed by a record label I lived in the "external-safety" zone. I was actually encouraged in verbal resistance; to speak to an audience as with a dog whistle, cueing a response from a large population that would supposedly secure the record label a return on their investment in me. It is no wonder I felt so disappointed in my writing and isolated. Concern for public opinion and cliches/forced uniqueness/cleverness for ones own sake etc. are all tactics that protect the reader from actually facing themselves. These methods put a wall up between the writer and the reader/listener.
ReplyDeleteAs I stepped away from this path, I stopped writing songs altogether. I forgot how to get public opinion out of my process. I forgot how to do what I did before anyone told me how to write. I forgot how to stop intellectualizing and philosophizing or trying to be clever and prove my depth. Then, I began to write in privacy again. I wrote with no concern for discovery. What I found was the portal. Like a child exploring the earth, I explored language. Words became a playground again. Unfettered, I was able to touch the spiritual again- the place where children live and are taught to leave.
EXTERNAL, PORTAL, UNIVERSAL:
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed this sequence of mentally understanding the deeper meaning behind ideas that develop while we read and gain more knowledge.
I feel as though the educational system relies heavily on the external. What is the simplified larger picture? What does this strictly mean? What is the only reason? What are the set numbered ways this/that is in this specific poem, novel, or story?
The EXTERNAL is the outside, basically looking at a flower from far away. Okay, I see the image, the color... maybe, the form, etc.
The PORTAL is essentially looking at the flower underneath a microscope and seeing that is a type of hydrangea. I would have not known that if I haven't looked up close.
We are very accustomed to seeing literary works from a logical perspective and not the most creative of perspective.
The PORTAL is the path that takes on the journey to understanding the literary piece as an art.
I noticed the more I branch away from the EXTERNAL, the PORTAL becomes a more natural way of thinking.
Hi Professor Rich,
ReplyDeleteI greatly admire your opening statement, “Writing creatively is a process of spiraling deeper and deeper into what’s essential and universal.” In order to write creatively, I agree that the writer has to dig deep into their mind, heart, and soul to see what is essential for them. Of course, though, I believe that it becomes a problem when writers begin to view the words “essential” objectively. I think every writer has their own fair share of personal stories, “baggage”, and their voice that makes them stand out amongst the crowd. So, I think it’s important to recognize that every writer has their own definition of essential, and that is completely okay.
As you know and as we discussed in class, I’m an overthinker. I worry a lot, and I’m constantly overthinking, overanalyzing every aspect of my life. Though, when it comes to writing, it is all silenced. That voice in the back of my head, often responsible for my anxiety, loses control of his voice, and I gain back control. I view my pen and paper as a weapon, and I fight back that monster in my head. So, when I write, I write from my soul. I don’t let myself overthink, and I don’t allow myself to worry about other people’s opinions of my work. Writing is subjective. Some people will love it and some will hate it, but as long as it comes from my soul and it clicks with me and my heart then I know I succeeded. I connect with myself on a deeper level, and I establish a relationship with the words pouring out of my heart, letting it stay true to its existence. To sum up, how I feel about my writing and my work, I wrote this brief poem:
What is poetry?
To me, it’s a journal -
the tales of my heart
and the cries that always follow.
Poetry is who I am,
nothing less, nothing more.
It’s the one truth you’ll find
in the midst of all my lies.
- Rabia Ashraf
ReplyDeleteIn my creative process, I find that just writing, even about the smallest things inspire me in ways that wouldn't occur if I just fed my boredom through for example, the use of social media. I often block my creative flow by doing other things but writing, and especially reading when I don't have to have let that flow run again and most importantly, improved the quality of my life. However, I do fall in a pattern where I don't think I'm good enough and presume what my readers would think, without even trying! It's amazing when you take note of how you, yourself are in the way of your own progress and success.
For me, it takes the writing and stepping back and analyzing your behaviors to understand that the world isn’t standing in my way, I am. And yes, that was very difficult to accept at first but when I did, everything in my life changed and I’ve progressed and am continuing to progress in my achievements. Another thing I’ve realized is that the definition of success is very obscured and made to look like it has to be a huge thing when really success comes in increments and as a road to your goal. So for me, writing and logging has been a way for me to access ideas and confidence in myself to move forward.
When it comes to creating a creative piece of writing, I find myself stuck in that external place of not knowing how to begin or if my ideas are even valid and searching for inspiration on a device or somewhere other than my mind. I’ve noticed that it’s rare that I take the time to sit and delve into my thoughts. I am someone who fully enjoys their solitude, but I find that it’s not a beneficial form of isolation, I am distracting myself with things that keep me from myself. I realize now it might be because I find my thoughts and ideas boring and when I often try to challenge myself with questions and insights, they’re dull and unoriginal. Creating something truly unique that stray from the norm is what I need to do. I enjoy challenges, but I find it difficult to challenge myself.
ReplyDeleteThat's not to say I don’t know the joys of creating something original. The fleeting thought of a possible writing piece that makes its way into your notebook to get expanded in the future is truly amazing. To return that idea and take it in multiple directions until one just feels right. That’s when I get lost in that physical place and enter the spiritual one when I constantly use myself as a reference on what comes next.
My creative crab, the Christian-Crab, finds that getting to the portal is a process that he/I achieve rather quickly. The level at which I hesitate the most is in the external level concentrated on my mental. I don’t really consider the readers, or how I may be viewed or graded given my work (for this course particularly, my Poetry). I find my Verbal Resistance extends further than other people's opinions. I struggle considering, and reconsidering, weather or not choices of words I selected is appropriate. A lot of the time, I worry that my work has a forced scheme and if the generalization of my ideas and experiences are cliche. But once I have a theme, or idea that I want to write about, I stick to it. I may leave the poem alone for a while, that way when I revisit it, it’s like a new set of eyes. I’m able to tweak it to relieve my concerns using these “new eyes”. Scrapping the theme or idea for a poem I would never consider doing, because in my opinion, this idea came to me for a reason, so abandoning it as a whole would feel completely wrong. Once I overcome these externalities, I quickly move through the Portal into the Universal. I understood this more when I considered what occurred to me during our first meeting. We were instructed to write a poem that captured a simple yet complex concept “Home”. This paired along with brief meditation, I was almost unable to control my emotions. Something that I've never experienced, being a very grounded person who typically struggles to express emotion. I wrote my poem with devastation spilling from my pen, overcoming my struggles with the Externals, not giving f*** about my word choice and what my peers are going to think about it. I travel through the Portal into the Universal, where I engaged this event that I wrote about, in a way that I have never approached it. I was so devastated with myself, that a tear fell down my face. Tears are something that I haven’t felt on my face in a really long time. Nevertheless, I am by no means an experienced writer, but I hope that new experiences can help my achive self fulfillment, maybe even be happy.
ReplyDeleteChristian Paiz
AWP Spring 2020