Monday, February 17, 2020

Journal for Authenticity: (4) Security

                  


Don’t you love the meme?! People on their devices reaching out—texting, chatting, posting, Googling.  Whereas the Survival stage of journaling is a monolog against perps and a plaint against fears, the Security stage is about engaging with others.  After all, humans are social beings—it’s a matter of security to be part of a tribe. The Security stage is a natural segue from the Survival mode of journaling for authenticity—and is often interwoven with it, especially when writing about fraught relationships. 

Of course, devices can be used for all levels of writing for authenticity—and you’ll see that the Power and Love levels are satisfying exchanges.  Anxiety and Manipulation dominate when we write purely for Security. 

Moving from my Survival rant, where I railed against the driver who rear-ended me, I scripted a lecture to deliver to him.  I fantasized how I could manipulate contrition from him, and reparations beyond car insurance.  Writing this was helpful, because I realized how crazy it would be.  When I did speak briefly to him at the accident site, he kept blaming me for braking for the car in front of me.  That’s nuts, of course. This is not someone I would want to engage with.  Writing my fantasies helped me to maintain my security from further psychological stress and anxiety that contacting him would have created.

When bypassing the Survival stage and diving straight into writing for Security, the tone might be less charged.  In my high school journals, when I was just awakening to the possibilities of romance, my journals were filled with reports of how, for example, my crush, Tom Kulick, said hello to me in the stairwell.  And did he emphasize the first syllable or the second.  And was there an I-like-you in his tone. How I wasn’t sure if he said it to everyone in the same way; and did he look after me as I passed by; and had I combed over my cowlick; and was my collar straight; and…and all the yada yadas of teenager angst. 

I then segued to Colleen, who I thought was my best friend, who, I was sure, was flirting with Tom Kulick.  Colleen claimed she was just trying to find a way to tell him I liked him—to ease my way. That gave me an opportunity to regress to Survival writing—a rant about how she just lying and was horning in on my emotional territory.  Then I rose back to Security to find a way to tell her to stop.  OMG! All the anxiety, negotiation, manipulation that are the rehearsal for reproductive rituals for earthbound creatures.

Writing for Security, of course, isn’t limited to romantic topics.  We can enter the Security level by acknowledging our anxiety and ways to connect with (manipulate) others at work, social events, and in commerce.  Instead of just a one-sided retreat into our own anger, we use our journals to puzzle through how to secure our security.  Writing for Security is driven by Anxiety and the need to Manipulate.  We stabilize ourselves here, so that we may move up into Writing for Power.

Writing for Security is also an opportunity to inventory our regrets.  After all, our failings are another source of anxiety.  I’m sorry forI wish I had…. At this level, we review our past actions that have an emotional charge—that might be weighing on us—and explore avenues for making amends and doing better.  We can write letters of atonement to others in our journals—to send or not. Admitting our faults and regrets to ourselves in a safe space— and puzzling out how to heal our insecurities around them—creates a sense of Security.  It is the foundation of Power, our next level up.

Read through your journal entries.  Where do you write for Security?  Where do you regress to Survival writing during those entries?  Where do you rise further up the pyramid?

If you have not written for Security directly, explore what causes you anxiety.  Write about your regrets. Notice your moves toward scripting and manipulations.  Clarify and be kind to yourself.  You are, ultimately, your own best source of Security.


Report back to us here—quote what you feel comfortable sharing with us.



© Susanna Rich, 2020


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